Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I can count

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Carrying own bag after splitting with caddie, Max Homa fails to qualify for U.S. Open - NBC Sports

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have a reading level above third grade

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I can read

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I see through liars

I’ve a dismissive avoidant partner who said that he’s overwhelmed by our relationship and that he wants to break up, how do I get him back?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Private-sector firms added just 37,000 jobs in May, the lowest total in more than two years - CNN

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

NJ electric bills are about to jump 20% — who's to blame and what can you do? - Gothamist

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand how hurricane paths work